Our good friends Cheryl and Suyash were married in a Hindu ceremony just after Christmas. Since Cheryl's parents couldn't make the trip to India, she and Suyash asked us to represent her family during the celebrations, which we were happy to do.
An Indian bride is not really a bride until she's decorated with mehndi designs, and that's a great excuse to have a party on the night before the wedding.
Mehndi designs are super-intricate henna tattoos, and a bride will sit for hours while they're applied on her hands, arms, feet and legs. Caroline, Evie and I were at the mehndi party for a good three hours, and Cheryl told us later that she sat for two more before everything was done.
Evie watched in fascination. How did I get such a girly girl?
Here's a fun tradition: The mehndi artist hides the initials of the groom somewhere in the pattern. On the wedding night, the groom has to find his initials. This could take hours.
The women of the extended family gather to watch the bride get painted, and since there's plenty of time to kill, all the guests get a hand or two decorated as well.
Evie was a little shy at first, but she soon succumbed to her burning desire to be gorgeous.
Here's mine in progress. Most of the designs were over the palm. On the other side of the hand the design went from the tip of the index finger, over part of the back of the hand and up just past the wrist. Mine looked kind of like a peacock, with the head and eye on the inside of my wrist.
Here are Evie and a new friend patiently waiting for the henna to dry. It takes quite a while. Once it's dry you just scrape it off and admire the stain, which lasts for several days.
Caroline says that seeing the Taj Mahal justified the price of her plane tickets, but getting mehndi done at a real Indian wedding in India was worth all the shots she had to get. For me, the party had me thinking of my good friend Sukeina, who was married in a Muslim ceremony (mehndi is common at Muslim weddings, too) when we were freshmen in college. I wasn't able to make it to Toronto for her wedding, and I don't think I'll ever stop regretting it.
But back to Cheryl and Suyash. Since the bride is sitting in one place for so long, the mehndi ceremony is a good time to perform a few other rituals, too. Suyash's mother and several other female relatives gave Cheryl the blessing mark on her forehead and then covered her head with the end of their saris. I'm not exactly sure what it means, but I think it has something to do with the groom's family welcoming her to the fold, so to speak.
There was another puja done with Suyash and his parents. His mom was in tears for most of the evening.
Everyone else's henna is dry, and Cheryl is still sitting there, so this is when all the aunties start breaking out the tunes. In India, any woman older than you is your aunt and any older man is your uncle. We're one big happy family over here. They were singing traditional songs, but they'd changed the words to honor (and make fun of) Suyash and Cheryl.
Suyash's oldest aunt and uncle were right in the thick of things.
Some of the younger aunts/cousins/whoever danced, too.
The performances soon gave way to an all-out dance party. This isn't a very good photo, but it captures the feeling of the moment -- multiple generations of Suyash's family having a great time together.
Here's another fun tradition: A dance is thought of as a call for blessings. When someone started dancing, one of Suyash's uncles would take a handful of money and circle it around the dancer's head. Then he'd put the money in a bowl. The bowl full of money was given to Suyash and Cheryl after the party.
Caroline and I were dragged onto the dance floor, but it quickly became clear that my eighth-grade shuffle wasn't going to cut it. These people know how to dance! We got some "blessings" for Cheryl and Suyash, though, so the embarrassment did benefit someone.
So there's your inside look at an Indian mehndi party. Woot!
Coming soon: John and I stoke the sacred fire ...
An Indian bride is not really a bride until she's decorated with mehndi designs, and that's a great excuse to have a party on the night before the wedding.
Mehndi designs are super-intricate henna tattoos, and a bride will sit for hours while they're applied on her hands, arms, feet and legs. Caroline, Evie and I were at the mehndi party for a good three hours, and Cheryl told us later that she sat for two more before everything was done.
Evie watched in fascination. How did I get such a girly girl?
Here's a fun tradition: The mehndi artist hides the initials of the groom somewhere in the pattern. On the wedding night, the groom has to find his initials. This could take hours.
The women of the extended family gather to watch the bride get painted, and since there's plenty of time to kill, all the guests get a hand or two decorated as well.
Evie was a little shy at first, but she soon succumbed to her burning desire to be gorgeous.
Here's mine in progress. Most of the designs were over the palm. On the other side of the hand the design went from the tip of the index finger, over part of the back of the hand and up just past the wrist. Mine looked kind of like a peacock, with the head and eye on the inside of my wrist.
Here are Evie and a new friend patiently waiting for the henna to dry. It takes quite a while. Once it's dry you just scrape it off and admire the stain, which lasts for several days.
Caroline says that seeing the Taj Mahal justified the price of her plane tickets, but getting mehndi done at a real Indian wedding in India was worth all the shots she had to get. For me, the party had me thinking of my good friend Sukeina, who was married in a Muslim ceremony (mehndi is common at Muslim weddings, too) when we were freshmen in college. I wasn't able to make it to Toronto for her wedding, and I don't think I'll ever stop regretting it.
But back to Cheryl and Suyash. Since the bride is sitting in one place for so long, the mehndi ceremony is a good time to perform a few other rituals, too. Suyash's mother and several other female relatives gave Cheryl the blessing mark on her forehead and then covered her head with the end of their saris. I'm not exactly sure what it means, but I think it has something to do with the groom's family welcoming her to the fold, so to speak.
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| Check out the sign on the wall to the left of Suyash's mom. "Alcohol and non veg strictly not allowed." This is a (South Indian) Hindu establishment, people! |
Everyone else's henna is dry, and Cheryl is still sitting there, so this is when all the aunties start breaking out the tunes. In India, any woman older than you is your aunt and any older man is your uncle. We're one big happy family over here. They were singing traditional songs, but they'd changed the words to honor (and make fun of) Suyash and Cheryl.
Suyash's oldest aunt and uncle were right in the thick of things.
Some of the younger aunts/cousins/whoever danced, too.
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| Notice in the background: The mehndi artist is still working on Cheryl's left arm ... |
Here's another fun tradition: A dance is thought of as a call for blessings. When someone started dancing, one of Suyash's uncles would take a handful of money and circle it around the dancer's head. Then he'd put the money in a bowl. The bowl full of money was given to Suyash and Cheryl after the party.
Caroline and I were dragged onto the dance floor, but it quickly became clear that my eighth-grade shuffle wasn't going to cut it. These people know how to dance! We got some "blessings" for Cheryl and Suyash, though, so the embarrassment did benefit someone.
So there's your inside look at an Indian mehndi party. Woot!
Coming soon: John and I stoke the sacred fire ...
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