My super-fair skin and large-ish stature make it pretty obvious that I'm not from these parts. But aside from some staring and paparazzi action (especially when I've got the kids with me), people are usually extremely friendly, and they're kind almost to the point of deference. Today I had a different experience.
I was on my way home from the Consulate and stopped to buy some produce. As soon as I walked into the shop, the two young women who were running the cash registers started shouting in what I suppose they thought were American accents: "Hello! How are you! How is it going?" It wasn't in the friendly tone I've become used to, and they laughed with each other as they shouted. If I hadn't been in such a hurry to get home to the kids, I might have left the shop right then. I knew they had what I needed, though, and I didn't like the idea of having to drive all over town looking for it somewhere else. The two women continued laughing as one of them rang up my purchases (which takes five times as long to do here as it does in the States, for some reason). As I paid, the woman serving me said, "Carry bag?" Some of the shops make you pay for your bags, and she was asking how many I wanted. She gave me about one second to answer and then shouted, "You want carry bag?" This had her friend doubled over with laughter. I said I'd like two please, paid for them, and left the store.
I spent most of the ride home imagining what I could have done or said differently. Most of the scenarios ended with me reducing the two of them to blubbering piles of remorse and then walking triumphantly from the shop. Once I landed back in reality I was glad I hadn't let them see my annoyance. They knew they were being jerks, and me getting angry probably would have made them laugh all the more.
I've been laughed at before, of course. (Do you KNOW me?) Street kids in the Congo used to dance around and chant mondeli, mondeli when they saw me. That just means "white person." In Brazil, people (mostly drunk men) would shout out holandesa because apparently I look Dutch?? And then of course there are the thousands of incidents of teasing or general embarrassment that come with growing up. So why am I so annoyed today? Did I think grown-ups don't have to deal with this kind of thing? Is it because the experience was so different from what I usually encounter in Chennai? I don't know, but I hope I remember this experience when I'm the one in the majority.
I was on my way home from the Consulate and stopped to buy some produce. As soon as I walked into the shop, the two young women who were running the cash registers started shouting in what I suppose they thought were American accents: "Hello! How are you! How is it going?" It wasn't in the friendly tone I've become used to, and they laughed with each other as they shouted. If I hadn't been in such a hurry to get home to the kids, I might have left the shop right then. I knew they had what I needed, though, and I didn't like the idea of having to drive all over town looking for it somewhere else. The two women continued laughing as one of them rang up my purchases (which takes five times as long to do here as it does in the States, for some reason). As I paid, the woman serving me said, "Carry bag?" Some of the shops make you pay for your bags, and she was asking how many I wanted. She gave me about one second to answer and then shouted, "You want carry bag?" This had her friend doubled over with laughter. I said I'd like two please, paid for them, and left the store.
I spent most of the ride home imagining what I could have done or said differently. Most of the scenarios ended with me reducing the two of them to blubbering piles of remorse and then walking triumphantly from the shop. Once I landed back in reality I was glad I hadn't let them see my annoyance. They knew they were being jerks, and me getting angry probably would have made them laugh all the more.
I've been laughed at before, of course. (Do you KNOW me?) Street kids in the Congo used to dance around and chant mondeli, mondeli when they saw me. That just means "white person." In Brazil, people (mostly drunk men) would shout out holandesa because apparently I look Dutch?? And then of course there are the thousands of incidents of teasing or general embarrassment that come with growing up. So why am I so annoyed today? Did I think grown-ups don't have to deal with this kind of thing? Is it because the experience was so different from what I usually encounter in Chennai? I don't know, but I hope I remember this experience when I'm the one in the majority.
Amy, I think you did awesome. You are right, almost anything else you would have done would have just amused them more.
ReplyDeleteYou are very silly to think that you need to remember these experiences for when you are in the majority. You are a kind, nice, just person. To laugh at someones expense is just not something you would do. It is like someone winning the lottery. If they are generous, they will still be generous, if they are greedy, it will still never be enough.
love and miss you!
Laurie